Back and ready for more

Hello there friends & readers,

Welcome back! It has been a while, hasn't it? but we are back and ready for more.

The holidays are over & I am sure we all went to our share of events, which brings us to today's topic: PARTIES!!! 

We all love a good party.  After hosting & attending a few myself this holiday season, here are some of my favorite tips I think we could all use a refresher on (Myself included!):

TIP #1: BE ON TIME 

Seems like a no brainer right? It is surprising that this is one people complain about the most.  Check the invitation, most Hosts will be clear if the event is "stop by whenever" or not.  Most people try & serve hot food & drinks this time of year so knowing when people will arrive is critical.  Even if the event is casual, try & be close to the start time or at least call if you will be more than an hour after the beginning.  I understand that no one like being the first one to a party, but when every tries to fix this by showing up 2 hours late it really doesn't help.  

Remember, fashionably late is 15 to 30 minutes after the WRITTEN start time.

TIP #2: DOUBLE CHECK THE INVITATION

Nothing sucks more than coming to a party unprepared, whether is it a formal event & you are dressed for a Leonard Skinner Concert, or you come expecting a dinner party and find a hand full of hors d'oeuvres.  Double check all the details in advance & once again day of.  If anything is unclear, feel free to call you host & ask, BUT REMEMBER! unless it is an emergency, do NOT call the host with questions less that 2 hours before the event.  They will likely have their hands full.

TIP #3: INFORM YOUR HOST

No matter how close a friend they are, it is not your hosts job to remember your are a vegetarian, allergic to almonds or hate their Significant Other's Best Friend.  Anything that might alter your good times is YOUR responsibility.  Call them up a few days in advance and double check that everything is going to be OK.  If you have food issues, offer to bring something you can eat, & bring enough to share.  If you have drama with someone there, it is best to be an adult & just try and avoid the person, but if you really feel you can't be in the same room, DON'T GO!!!  

But remember: ALL THIS MUST BE DONE IN ADVANCE.  Calling up 2 hours before the event & reminding them of anything is Rude.  By then they have typically planned everything & any changes would be very hard.

TIP #4: BRING A HOST GIFT

The Host gift is a time honor tradition.  Anything from a bottle of wine to a bouquet of flowers lets your host know that you truly appreciate the time & effort they made for you.  

Wine or dessert is best for Dinner Parties, flowers or chocolate for a smaller gathering.  You do not need to bring a gift for a Pot Luck, but a small bouquet would be a very nice gesture if you are showing up with a salad & they have spent 6 hours cooking a roast.

TIP #5: BE HONEST IF YOU ARE BAILING

We've all done it: Said yes to a party and day of thought to ourselves "WHAT the HELL was I thinking?".  Sometimes our Social Eyes are bigger than our Calendar's Stomach.  It happens.  If you really must Bail, TELL THE TRUTH.  Most friends will understand if you text & say "Class just killed me & I want to lay in bed & watch Star Trek".  They will be annoyed, and/or disappointed but they will understand.  If you tell them you are sick and they find out you are not thing will be much worse in the long run.  

Remember, this is a ONCE IN AWHILE thing.  If you do this often do NOT be shocked when you stop getting invited places.

That's all for now friends.  Please keep checking back for more etiquette tips & questions answered & feel free to write in with any questions!

XOXOXO
Your Amie Polie (That's Polite Friend in French-Talk)

Welcome! Can I get you a drink?

Hi Everyone and welcome to Your Polite Friend.

People  often come to me with etiquette questions (or complaints) about every day life in this crazy world we live in and I thought I would put some of these together.  If you every have a question for me please feel free to shoot me an email.

So what is our first topic to kick start this blog?  Well, I thought we would tackle a tough one:

And because this is such a large topic, I am going to pick a specific area I hear the most complaints about: RSVPs and Flakers.

OK, Paper invitations to things (other than weddings) pretty much died with the dial up modem, and for some reason, so did people's ability to commit to anything.  I guess if we don't have a physical item in our hands it just doesn't make the event seem real or important.  This is a habit we need to stop.  E-vites and Facebook invites are clearly hear to stay (maybe the hipsters will bring back real invitations but still) but how we treat them needs to become more serious.  I blame this on my arch nemesis: the Maybe button.  I am convinced the Maybe button was invented by someone who had commitment issues.  You might as well tell the person "I want to see if a better option comes along".

There is a definite ranking in terms of how serious you take invites:
- Evite: If someone took the effort to make an evite and email it to you then this is an event where Maybe is not OK.  Evite is the paper invitation for the new generation.  PLEASE COMMIT
- Facebook, Personal: Not quite as hard core as Evite.  Read carefully and see if this is a "everyone stop by when you can" type event or "Actually need a head count" type event.  If it is casual, Maybe is OK, but please take a minute to really think about it and if you really think the answer is no, SAY SO.  If it at all seems like the Host(ess) needs a head count please: DON'T CLICK THE MAYBE BUTTON!
- Facebook, NonPersonal: Maybe a friend's band is playing or an event with a group you know is happening.  These type of event invites are more "spreading the word".  It is nice to click yes if you plan on going because people want get an idea if the club is going to be packed or not.  If this is for a friend, please RSVP (no Maybe) and please share.

Now, on to the part that we all hate: FLAKERS

It is pretty simple: if you say you are going, GO.  Yes, yes, there is always something that comes up, car trouble, illness, etc.  But honestly, if you really don't think you are going to go, SAY SO.  I have some lovely friends who throw events I wish I could go to more, but due to my day job and their location, it just doesn't happen and I explain that.  It is better and shows more respect for them as people than blowing them off all the time or being a Maybe Baby.

OK, that was the first post from Your Polite Friend.  Please keep checking back for more etiquette tips and questions answered and feel free to write in with any questions!

XOXOXO
Your Amie Polie (That's Polite Friend in French-Talk)