Gifting and Returning

Hello there friends & readers,

Hopefully you all survived the December Holidays.  I hope you have all reread my post on Holiday Parties & Thank You Notes in preparation for everything.  Looking at some of those yuletide stocking stuffers gifted by relatives who mean well but are clueless, we always ask ourselves is there a better way. Here is a list to help us all next year:

Is it OK to to hint what you want?

Complicated Question, depends on who you are hinting too.  Simple rule is that unless you are writing to Santa Claus, giving anyone a specific list of what you want is seen as tacky.  With really close family members and significant others this rule is often overlooked because closeness often = casualness.  If they ask you directly "what would you like for your holiday gift?" you can give an answer, but please do not go into specific, ex: "I would love some new sheets" is OK, however "I want new Calvin Klein 400 thread count sheets in apple green" is too specific and looks rude.  Directing people to your Amazon wishlist is touchy.  For some people it is  a savior as they know they can get you what you want and get it with just a few clicks, while to others it is the equivalent of just asking for cash.

How do you hint (or tell) what you don't want?

Another complicated dance we must do.  Whether it is our significant others who cannot understand that orange lingerie makes us look like a slutty carrot, our loving aunts who send us home knit sweater when we live in Florida and it never gets below 75 Degrees or our friends who see the holidays as a chance to gift everyone their homemade string art, we all get gifts we don't want. There are 2 options for dealing with this:

- Take it with a smile: Accept that it is easier to take the gift, say thank you, and then re-gift or donate it. This can cause future issues if they inquire about the gift they sent you, but for your great aunt who will never see your apartment, just accept the vase with a smile and politely pass it along. You’ll probably have a fun story at your next White Elephant party.

- Tell them “NO” before you get it: This mainly works if you know someone is getting you something awful you have no interest in.  Well before the holidays (and gifts are purchased), try and bring it up in conversation with the person in question.  There is the round about way: “Man do I have so many sweaters.  I can’t even fit them all in my drawer!”; Or the direct way: “Hey Aunt Betsy, I love you home knit gifts but living in the heat I never get to use them, do you think you could try and make a Bikini Top? That would be awesome”

That's all for now friends.  Please keep checking back for more etiquette tips & questions answered & feel free to write in with any questions!

XOXOXO

Your Amie Polie (That's Polite Friend in French-Talk)