Hello there friends & readers,
We are a few days after Christmas and my gift to you is 2 posts in a row.
Today’s topic: keeping calm while dealing with family this holiday season
Family, their amazing right? No one else can cause the mix of love and insane rage we feel every year. To keep from having the same fights every year please keep a few of the following in mind as you drive/fly/bike home for the holidays:
- Is this the hill you want to die on? Sometimes you have to ask yourself if it is worth it. Yes, Grandpa is a racist. He is also 80. He will die soon. Can you just suck it up and try and block out his comments or change the subject? His opinion will not change. Trying to change it will just make you crazy. Sometimes it is worth it, sometimes it is now. Ask yourself that seriously before you go and prepare yourself for the consequences.
- Be clear what you will not tolerate: Does your Aunt dig in to you every year about studying modern dance instead of going pre-law like her child? Be clear the first time she brings it up: “Aunt Ruth, You say this every year, I made my choice and there is nothing I can do about it, please stop”.
- Leaving the room is an option: If they don’t listen, walk out. Very simple. Grandpa going off on a racist rant? Go check the kitchen for more Beer. Aunt repeating herself for the 5th time? Tell her you are going for a walk to help keep your Resolution to be fit. Just get out. They will turn their attentions to someone else.
- Make plans with friends in town: Yes, you are home to visit family, but friends can become family and also can become a much needed escape when you are cooped up for several days with people who make you nuts. Before going back home, put out an invite to any friends in the area and plan a rendez-vous. If you really have no friends in town, look into local events that can get you out of the house: Fitness classes, art exhibits, craft fairs. Anything to get you some breathing room and maybe a chance to MAKE new friends.
- You are allowed to not go home for the holidays: If going home and visiting is really that stressful, don’t go. Say work is making it too hard, flights are too expensive, you cat is sick or your best friend got dumped and needs you for the holidays.
That's all for now friends. Please keep checking back for more etiquette tips & questions answered & feel free to write in with any questions!
XOXOXO
Your Amie Polie (That's Polite Friend in French-Talk)
What about when your husband has cheated on you, and the whole family now knows?
ReplyDeleteDear Reader,
DeleteThat sounds like an incredibly hard situation, I cannot imagine what you are going through. The only advice I could give is to address it head on and set your boundaries. Please remember to be patient and kind to your self and your family. They are your family after all. At the end of the day they only wish for your happiness.
- Your Polite Friend
Patient with what? What if you're too weak to set boundaries, and every time he lies about drinking or drugs or an affair or talking again with the other woman, he just lies again? And again? He can never stop lying? And his family knows he wanted to leave? How will anyone else ever respect me if he shows me no respect?
Delete