Gratzi, Merci, Thank you

Hello there friends & readers,

I am so appreciative of all the attention I have received from you lately, which has inspired me for our next topic: Thank Yous.

We all have memories of Mom & Dad sitting us down after every Christmas & Birthday & having us write out a standard Thank You Note. Most of us found it annoying & boring. The idea behind a Thank You Note is that someone took the time from their life to think of us & send us a gift they thought we could like, & in turn we take the time from our life to tell them we appreciate it. Sounds like a nice gesture right? Thank You Notes are one of those things that in theory everyone can appreciate, but in practice is just a little too much work, kind of like flossing.


The Thank You Note is one of those timeless etiquette items that has had some issues adjusting to modern society. Questions like "Is a Thank You Email OK?" are debated constantly by etiquette experts, some on the side of adapting with the times, & others standing firmly on the side of tradition.


So here are my 2 cents in the pool, take them as you will: I love Thank You Notes. I love writing them, receiving them, shopping for them. This is mainly because I am obsessed with pens, stationary & getting mail. I am well aware that for a millennial, my tastes often fall closer to those of the Baby Boomers. I accept this. I also understand that for most people in my generation, an address book is electronic, & given that our friends move more often than we upgrade our iPhones, usually tragically out of date. Getting stationary, getting stamps, & getting a correct address is a big hassle when you are busy. So here is a cheat sheet to help you navigate the best way to tell someone you appreciate them:


Engagement, Bridal Shower, Wedding or Graduation Gifts:

The Law of the Land still says you have to send a written note for these gifts. I know that is not what you want to hear but just do it. Your older relatives will appreciate it. Mainly you are thanking them for thinking of you & coming to your event (if they did). Just suck it up & churn them out. Good news is you should have a correct address since you sent the announcement/invitation. Generally this should be done with in 2 to 3 weeks MAX of receiving the gift. This is not one that is going to change any time soon.


Personalized Gifts (Birthdays, Christmases, etc)

If someone took the time to get you something very specific to you, it really would be nice if you sent them a note. Like I said, I get it, hard. This is a situation where I feel email is acceptable, IF the email is more than 2 sentences. Tell them why you appreciate it & how much it means that the person went out of their way for you. Texts & Facebook really don't cut it for this kind of thing. I know some of you are going to ask "Why is an email more personalized than a Facebook message". I don't know WHY, but email just seems like you put a little more effort in. I don't make the rules, I just nicely remind you what they are.


A Nice Food or Beverage Item Contributed To Your Party

We Millennials are mostly getting to the age where our parties are a pot luck kind of thing. If someone brings a really nice dish or beverage to the party & you want to thank them, this is where texting & Facebook are OK. Just a quick "Thanks so much for coming! The Cider/Potato Salad/Chili were amazing!!!" is a very nice touch. This could also be done over Facebook. Generally it is best in a private message to the person. Group Messages are nice to thank everyone for coming, but if someone put a lot of effort in to a dish, or shelled out a nice amount for some quality drinks, they deserve their own little message. It will help ensure that they will be just as generous the next time. 

PLEASE REMEMBER: ANY MESSAGE IS BETTER THAN NO MESSAGE

If push comes to shove, any etiquette expert will tell you that any kind of message is better than none.  If sending an email or a text is all you can do, DO IT!!! Even if it is better or more correct to send a note.  Hell, a PHONE CALL is better than nothing, just find a way to say thank you.

That's all for now friends. Please keep checking back for more etiquette tips & questions answered & feel free to write in with any questions!


XOXOXO
Your Amie Polie (That's Polite Friend in French-Talk)