Back with a passion

Hello there friends & readers,

It has been a while since I updated all of you, sorry for my long absence.  But I am back & inspired anew to help navigate this crazy world out there.  Today we are going to discuss a topic very near & dear to my heart.  That topic is the etiquette of social dynamics.  Confused?  Keep reading.

In our social groups we generally fall in to different roles & there is always one person who is "The Planner".  They come up with the ideas, send out the e-vites, host the events, things like that.  They often do this because it works with the personality (the term control freak may be used occasionally to describe them), their schedule, or they just come up with good ideas & follow through with said ideas.  There seems to be a misconception that because this person is happy, or at least willing, to do all the planning-organizing-hosting things, you are on easy street & never have to plan an event of your own.  I am coming to you today to say this is wrong & is something that needs to be fixed.  Just because someone is willing to do the work, doesn't mean they don't want a day off occasionally. I bet if you asked your Planner Friend honestly how they felt about their role in the group, they might express an occasional feeling of hurt, frustration, or just being unappreciated because they are never invited anywhere in return.

This is an issue that can be aggravated by social media.  When your Planner Friend sees you out with other friends or at an event they didn't get an invite to, it is very hard not to take it personally & ask themselves why they were not worthy of an invite.  Yes, we often have multiple friend groups, which means multiple Planner Friends, but for the average person there is always a gut reaction of being slighted & left out.  Your Planner Friend might bring this up with you at some point, but it is very hard for people to have these conversations, as there is always this idea that if you complain about it, it is your problem.  We all need to try and be a little more considerate.

So what can you do? No, you do not have to keep a running tab of every time you have been invited somewhere & invite back that many times.  I am also not saying that you have to start hosting dinner parties even though you hate cooking.  I am saying that a once in a while a "Hey you want to get some Brunch?" type of offer goes a LONG way in reminding your Planner Friend that you care about them & enjoy spending time with them.

That's all for now friends. Please keep checking back for more etiquette tips & questions answered & feel free to write in with any questions!

XOXOXO
Your Amie Polie (That's Polite Friend in French-Talk)