Pulling out of a conversation

Hello there friends & readers,

Another Reader Question! I must be doing something right!

“Dear Your Polite Friend: how do I leave a conversation with a stranger? People love to talk to me & I will talk to them but I don't know how to say 'thanks, shut up now' in a nice way...”

We have all been stuck in a conversation we can’t seem to get out of, you don’t want to be rude, & you also have to leave. There are several options for this situation ranging from the quietly courteous, to the silly.

- Be honest & up front: If you are short on time it is perfectly acceptable to say “This is fascinating, & I need to catch a bus / get home & meet someone / have a meeting”.  If you know the person, offer to talk to them again later either online or on the phone; if you don't, just nicely say thank you & walk away.

- Just wrap things up without any window dressing: It's often fine to just say you've got to go without any explanation, especially if you know the person already. They'll understand you've got things you need to do and won't be offended.
"I gotta run, good talking to you."
(Talking on the phone) "Well I'm gonna go. I'll talk to you later."
"Alright" (To agree with what they just said) "Anyway, take it easy man." (As you're heading off)

- Just keep walking: One easy way to not get stuck is stay in motion.  Are you at the store? Never stop moving down the aisle.  On the street? Keep walking forward.  At work? Have a notepad on you.  Once they see you are walking away they will take the hint.  Just give a one like retort & move on.

- Fake you got a call: Not the MOST polite thing in the world but VERY useful if you are shy.  Take out your phone, look at it & say "Oh gosh, I really need to take this" & walk away while "answering" it.  Putting some physical distance between you and the person is always a way to stop the chat.

- If all else fails: Your Polite Friend likes to use the “Well, if you will excuse me, my pig is on fire” & walk away. This is an old trick from Ren Fair.  Use only if you must.

Now, sometimes the hardest part is interrupting someone who keeps talking, we were all told by our mothers that interrupting people is impolite.  This is true, HOWEVER, not letting someone get a word in edge wise is ALSO impolite.  We all need to breath at some point so a perfect spot is when they take a breath.  If this is someone who has the power to talk & breath at the same time, you are allowed to say "Excuse me" to make your point that you need to leave.

That's all for now friends. Please keep checking back for more etiquette tips & questions answered & feel free to write in with any questions!

XOXO

Your Amie Polie (That's Polite Friend in French-Talk)

The Manners of Social Media Part Deux

Hello there friends & readers,

Your Polite Friend was recently contacted in a discussion about social media. This is going to be a long one so I have decided to split it in to two posts. Now that we have read part one & had some time to chew it over, we continue with part two. Hope you enjoy.

When does sharing turn in to TMI?

After going over the etiquette of what to post to social media, the question was then WHEN to post to social media. What is over sharing in this modern world?

This is another one that is different for each person. Some of us want to see every picture of every event their friends go to & some of us would rather not. For these kinds of issues I feel it is more the responsibility of the viewer to manage what shows up on their news feed than the poster. Grandma driving your crazy with 100 pictures a day of her Pug Dog Mr. Snuggles? Is your sister posting a picture every 5 minutes of her baby? Your bestie Instgraming every meal they have ever eaten? Maybe filter those out of your everyday posts from the main feed, either by grouping them or just unfollowing them. There is no need to get annoyed because someone has a passion for something you don’t share & they are using social media to talk about it. Our hobbies are no longer limited to just the people at our quilting circle or local golf course.

If someone is really going overboard with their posting, talk to them Off Line or “IRL” as the kids say it these days. Calmly explain that you feel they are oversharing & might want to tone it down a little. Be careful in how you approach this conversation. As we covered in our last topic, some people see social media as a source for spreading their views on political topics, so telling them to tone it down might be tricky.

That's all for now friends. Please keep checking back for more etiquette tips & questions answered & feel free to write in with any questions!

XOXO

Your Amie Polie (That's Polite Friend in French-Talk)