Cellphones and modern annoyances

Hello there friends & readers,

Wow, 2 posts in the same month, I must be getting good at this.

Recently a question came my way via The Facebooks: "If you don't know if someone's phone will make a tone that will wake them up, is it OK to text them late? Or is it just plain impolite?"

Being the Millennial Miss Manners that I am, I was very interested in everyone's views on this.

The answers generally fell in to two categories, one group saying "No it is not rude" because you can change the setting to make your phone silent when you sleep, it is fine to text/call/whatever at any time;  the other saying "Yes it is rude" because the phone might be on for a reason & if it is not an emergency, you should email or contact them some other way or just some time later.

Questions like this are always hard.  Modern technology had given us a million ways to be connected but also a million was to accidentally be rude because we all see it differently.  And since you asked (why else would you be here) here is my view on the situation:

Most people bring up the fact that we have the ability to turn our cell phones on silent when we sleep so it is fine to text, call, email, snap chat, or whatever at any hour of the day & if the person is bothered, it is their fault for forgetting to turn it on silent.

I have a few issues with this.  First, it assumes that everyone has a smart phone with these functions.  Not every does.  Second, it assumes that everyone knows how to change the settings on their smart phone.  I am sure we have all had to explain how to do something smart phone related to someone in our life time.  Finally, there are a million reasons why someone might need to keep their phone on at night, most of them being due to emergency situations.  They might be a doctor, tech people, firefighters, or even the president.

When Your Polite Friend is faced with a situation like this, I fall back to my golden rule: "Treat other the way you want to be treated". Would it bother you to get a text at 11:30 pm? If the answer is yes, don't send a text at 11:30 pm. Very simple. With this also comes the understanding that if someone does call you at an off hour, you politely tell them (maybe the next day when you are more awake & able to express yourself nicely) that in the future you prefer not to be contacted after a certain hour.

There are other conversations that we will have to have about personal responsibility for our technology & alerting people to your schedule, but I think we will cover that at a later date.

That's all for now friends. Please keep checking back for more etiquette tips and questions answered and feel free to write in with any questions!

XOXOXO
Your Amie Polie (That's Polite Friend in French-Talk)

Let's go Clubbing

Hello there friends & readers,

Well, we have all just set our clocks forward one hour meaning we are staying up later & spring is officially here.  The weather is warmer so we can pull out our fun clothes & maybe hit up a dance club.  As someone who frequents clubs, I wanted to pass on a few tips for your next night out.

1) Do your Research

Some clubs have dress codes.  There is a reason if they do.  Most places will say this on their website in advance so please check it out.  No one wants to be the girl in the strawberry dress & white cardigan at the goth club.  Ambiance is important to clubs & the patronage is a big part of that.  Be creative & find a way to mold your personal style to the atmosphere the owners are after.  You will have more fun & won't have to answer the "are you lost" question every 15 minutes.

2) The Bar is a No Parking Zone

It is natural to want to congregate at the bar.  Don't.  Seriously, just Don't.  Get your drink & move away so others can get in behind you.  Nothing sucks more than having to shove through a wall of people when you want to get a drink.

If you are looking for a quiet place to talk, outside is always open, available, & you can smoke.

3) No Flashing (YOUR CAMERA)

A bright light in a dark room pisses everyone off.  I know we all want to document everything, but please do it outside.  This goes super duper QUADRUPLE! if there is a performance on stage.  Most venues that have performances will higher professional photographers who will have special permissions & access.  They do not need, or want, your help, your flash, or you getting in their face & maybe blocking their shot.  Just enjoy yourself, see the show, and save selfies for outside.

4) Stay on your Side of the Rope

This should go with out saying but unless you are performing at that venue, there is no reason for you to be back stage.  If doesn't matter if one of the performers is your bestie, significant other, mom, child, or twin.  If they are working and you are not, stay out of the back stage.  It is always crowded there & that is where people store personal items.

If the club has a VIP area & you were too cheap to pay for a pass, do not try & wedge/talk/coerce yourself in.  It makes you look cheap & insecure.  If you wanted to be there that bad you would have paid.  Be honest.

5) You are in Public, Please don't be Stupid

Want to know what sucks more than paying $15 for a cocktail?  Having that $15 cocktail knocked out of your hands by someone whose had $60 worth of Liquor.  There is this idea that when we go out we have to get wasted or it is not a good time.  Can we please all agree that this is a stereotype died with the American Pie Franchise?  Watch your alcohol.  For us ladies nothing sucks more than trying to pee in a stall someone has puked all over, or trying to step over someone who is passed out on the floor.  The staff at the club will appreciate it, your friends will appreciate it, your Uber driver will appreciate it.

Also, if your monitor your alcohol content you are less likely to loose something important, like your phone, wallet, or shoes.

6) Flirting is Fine, Grinding is Gross

You are going out to meet someone.  Awesome.  Flirt, smile, tell a joke, laugh, ask them to dance & maybe for their number.  All if this is great and one of the reasons people go out to clubs.  HOWEVER! Do NOT come up behind someone you DO NOT KNOW & start grinding on them or touching them.  It is a violation of personal space & is not OK.  If you did that ANY OTHER PLACE besides a club, that person would have the right to mace you & call the cops.  Just because there is music playing & people are dressed up does NOT mean you can suddenly get away with acting like a perv.

If you ask said person to Dance & they say yes, then grinding is totally acceptable.

7) Chairs are for Resting, Not for Nesting

Please don't pile all your stuff on the few available chairs because you don't want to pay for coat check.  People dance, people get tired, people want to sit.  Check your stuff at the door or freeze for those few blocks to the car.  The choice is yours.

Yes ladies, I know that most of our club wear is with out pockets & that can pose an issues.  However, there are plenty of cute over the shoulder purses, as well as mini back packs, that you can have on the whole night.  If it is truly and issue, put you id, cash/credit card, & keys in your tits & leave the rest in the car.  Your bra can hold it so you don't have too.

That's all for now friends. Please keep checking back for more etiquette tips and questions answered and feel free to write in with any questions!

XOXOXO
Your Amie Polie (That's Polite Friend in French-Talk)